Forgiveness
by ForgottenWhispers
Summary: A moments mistake can make a lifetime of regrets. Basicly Kai's thoughts on a night gone wrong. Bad summary, but I'm half asleep...sorry.


FORGIVENESS

Disclaimer: I don't own beyblade, if I did I would be a very happy little lady. And so would all of you... and Tyson would get a better stylist...I swear I see Ash from Pokemon everytime I see him. Please tell me I'm not the only one

Summary: Yes another one of my 1 shots, I can't help it, they pop up in my mind and pester me till I write or type them, it practically drives me insane half the time. On to the summary: A second can become a life time, a choice can change a life. A bad choice can kill. This is dedicated to my best pal, who will probably start crying when she reads this (she says my stories make her cry, I don't know if thats a compliment or an insult), thanks for being the best friend I could ever ask for. You really are an angel no matter what I say sometimes, this is also payback for Killing him. Hehehehe, paybacks a B. Never mind the fact you are holding all my Kai/Ray drawings for ransom and have threatened to burn them if I don't mention you again...what are friends for. Well enjoy the fic.Innocent look I'm off to plot my revenge. Very evil grin (Think Kai first season when he had Black Dranzer)

A young man stands on the edge of a cliff, the gardener shook his head. His companion gave a questioning glance, but recieved nothing but a shake of the head. Some things needed to be said, somethings need not be said. This was one of them, this story was one of them, but it had to be told. It was one of those stories that were not wanted but were needed. A warning against further pain, a tribute to those lost and a means of release for those suffering.

The young man had suffered, still suffered. Anyone who looked at him would know that, and give him their support, but he didn't want them, or their support. What he wanted was gone, it couldn't come back. HE couldn't come back. Maybe it was better that way, somethings were not meant to be, some people were better left pure, unaffected by the harshness of the world. But it had been the harshness that sent him away, that led him to the short path he chose.

He had been there when it happened, he had been forced to watch as the one person who made life worth while for him chose to end it, forever. There was no way for it to retunr to what it was, no way to return to being friends either.

How do you apologise to someone who was dead? How do you tell them it wasn't their fault? How do you get them to come back? How do you mend a dead heart? How do you heal a departed soul?

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Kai looked to his side, the gardener was gone. He was thankful, atleast now none could see his tears, or tell him it was okay, because it wasn't. It would never be okay. He wasn't here anymore and it was all Kai's fault.

_'I drove him away. I killed him.' _

Those words had gone through his head at regular and painful intervals, they had been doing so for the past five years. He looked at his watch. 17:30, an hour and a half and it would be the anniversary of his death, the exact minute he died, and the minute Kai died with him. Not physically, Kai could still walk, talk and think but his heart had died. He had long since lost contact with the others, including Mr Dickinson, he spent more and more time on his own. He prefered it that way, the only person who had ever been a real companion to him was now lying in a mahogany coffin in the cemetry not more than three kilometres from where Kai was.

_"I love you." _

Tears began to form scalding trails down pale cheeks and blue markings, it was ironic, he had been hit harder than most could handle, not to mention over a sustained amount of time, yet these tears were the most painful things he had to endure. These tears and the sight that had brought them about.

_Raven hair flowed in the wind, a living cloak that reflected the light of the moon. He was so close that Kai could see his eyes, the stars had fought to outshine them, and had failed miserably, they were filled with tears. He had stared into those eyes, the gentle eyes that had managed to hold him captive in the best, and worst, of moments, the same eyes that could make him forget everything, save for the being that stood before him. _

_He opened his mouth, but nothing came out, he looked down in shame. A strangled sob forced him to look up, eyes widening in horror as realisation filled him with her bitterness, the shame had been misinterpreted. A look of sorrow crossed the fair face before him. Sorrow and emptiness. Kai would have wept if he could have, the fire within those eyes, the same fire that had always made him respect the other, was gone, snuffed out by his one thoughtless action. _

_The raven being looked to the open air, taking a step forward. Kai wanted to move, to shout, to grab him before he fell. But he didn't, he couldn't. He watched in helpless self hate as the other fell. He heard the thud and his legs were moving, he climbed down as fast as he could. Adrenaline warmed him, made his muscles stretch to reach the other at the bottom, and he did, those same legs and muscles gave in when crimson eyes found the other. Kai found himself falling to his knees before the other. _

_Raven hair fell all around him, masking the blood that surely soaked the floor and the boy. A pale cheak was rested against a bit of that raven hair, pillowed by the lustrious locks. Despite the situation, the obviousness of the danger, Kai found himself thinking how beautiful the boy looked, how peaceful._

_"Ray."_

_He called timidly, releasing the breath he hadn't realised he was holding when he was answered._

_"Kai?" It was soft and strained, but an answer none the less. He moved closer, gently folding the other into a loving embrace." I'm here, I'm here Ray. Hold on, someone will come." Ray nodded, grimacing in pain. Kai found himself looking into those eyes again, the pain was still there, tinged with the unnerving shade of despair. Ray had given up, Kai wanted to scream to him not to but he had, Kai was being cruel keeping him alive. He sighed, his heart breaking as he began to say the words that would haunt him for all eternity and forever after. _

_"Go to sleep Ray, it will be alright." _

_Amber eyes had stared into his own, thankfulness greeting him, momentarily shoving the despair away and, returning them to their former glory. Kai held him closer as he shivered, he felt the warm blood soak his clothes. The blood was warm, but the body which had held it for sixteen years was cold, and getting colder by the second. _

_"I'm scared."_

_"I'm here." Kai held him even closer, he could feel the slowing of Ray's heart. Could hear the gentling of ragged breathes, feel the ebbing of a tortured soul. "Good bye Ray. I love you." He felt the body stiffen and eyes bore into his own. Cold, trembling lips met his own in a bittersweet goodbye kiss. Their first and last. Kai felt those lips grow slack, he tasted the telltale metallicness of blood, and he felt the body relax. He opened his eyes and looked at the others face. A peaceful smile had gentled the previously pained face, long lashes creating an everlasting curtain which would shield, now dead, amber eyes from the world. _

_"Hey there, are you okay?"_

_Kai looked up, an old man was at the top of the cliff. He didn't answer, and watched numbly as the man climbed down. Two words were going in his head, the voice cold and emotionless._

_He's gone._

Kai watched as the sun set and the night darkened. He checked his watch again. 18:58. Two more minutes and then it would be five years to the day. Kai felt the pain well back, engulfing him in a sea of eternal agony and self hate. He had come here for a reason, he had come every year for the same reason, but today it would happen. He needed to do it, he needed to end the torture. He stepped closer to the edge, the tips of his toes touched the edge, he looked to the sky. The stars were bright, as bright as that night. He looked down to the bottom, there was the place Ray had lain, right below him.

He closed his eyes and felt the wind rush about him.

He felt a searing pain in his chest he heard the cracking of hard substances.

He fell to his knees, he needed to do this, but he couldn't.

_" Go back Kai." _

Kai opened his eyes, Ray had spoken. He would recognise that voice anywhere. He felt the pain go away and he smiled.

"Goodbye Ray. I love you, always will."

He turned and left, he didn't stop walking till he was back at his apartment and in his bed. He felt his eyes grow heavy, but he fought it.

_" Go to sleep Kai, it will be alright."_

Kai felt something touch his face and for the first time in five years he felt happy, he felt safe and he felt relief. For the first time in five years Kai felt the joy of forgiveness. He closed his eyes and slept.

For the first time in five years Kai slept the night through, no nightmares, no memories, only love. The love of an angel. The love of his angel.

The end.

Oh My Word! That was such a sappy ending...stupid milo...stupid chocolate...stupid Orlando Bloom...okay not stupid Orlando Bloom. I hoenstly why I just had to write this. I heard that song 'In the arms of an angel' and this came to mind. It's a beautiful and sad song and seemed to suit this. The I heard 'Broken' by Seether and Evanescance and that gave me the ending, for some odd reason. Sorry if people are getting sick of my slightly morbid ficlets, but this is me we're talking about...knew there was a reason I chose my author name.Enough of my rambling hope you like it, R&R.


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